Passing

It was summertime , but not one of those hot sticky days that leave you running for the nearest AC it was pleasant, and yet she was uncomfortable as she sat on the deck with the breeze whispering down her pale neck.  It had been so long since she had been outside, or has really been anywhere since her husband's passing.  She remembered it like it was yesterday.  She still had so many unanswered questions, what would cause her husband to take his own life in a way that played graphically in her mind, over and over, day after day.  If she had only seen the warning signs ahead of time she could have prevented this devastating event, she wondered how she could ever go on without him.  Was he still with her in spirit?  Could he hear her thoughts?  She tried not wasting her time thinking about such unrealistic ideas, ideas she secretly hoped were true.  She went inside to try and force herself to eat something for dinner.  As the refrigerator stared back at her empty, she decided to fix herself another drink again.  He was never coming back, and though she couldn't live with it at least she could temporarily numb her pain.