Bewildered

She extended her hand, it was cold, wrinkly, with long coral painted fingernails.  She tried to help the young boy up.  "It's okay, she reassured him, you've hit your head falling while trying to climb up those rocks.". He was bewildered. He didn't remember falling and even coming to that park in the first place.  Where were his mom and dad?  Surely he didn't arrive here all by himself.  He touched his hand to the back of his head, it was stained with blood and dirt, which frightened him. " We need to hurry now and get you some help," the strange old woman said.  He didn't recognize her, but felt he had no choice but to follow her along. His parents laid lifeless deep in the brush. She had done it again, and was quite pleased at how much more swiftly it occurred this time.

Withdrawn

     Some may view living life quietly on  their own as a harrowing experience. Not many to turn to.  Few to share news with, good or bad, Only a handful of others  to laugh or love with.  I have experienced the feeling of quiet time in my life, even with so many others around  I cherish it.  The ability to draw deep into myself and shut the world out has been a way of self preservation.  I like my time alone, deep in thoughts that others may not comprehend or be at all interested in.  My time to worry. My time to dream.  What can be concerning is I am so comfortable being within myself that it can be hard to let others in, uncomfortable even with those I love.  This causes a disconnect I am fully aware of, yet not necessarily interested in changing.  I apologize to those I love for ever making them feel left out, but it is who I am, probably from not feeling like I fit in with the world in the first place. 

Gone

She was a small girl, slight in stature but had been surviving on the streets for many years.  She was fearful of strangers and had every right to be.  Old untreated injuries left their mark, I fear she saw unkindness on more than one occasion. We recently became friends. She came to greet me each day.  I always bought her something to eat and instead of waiting till I left to eat, she'd hang with me,  I would sit with her, swatting mosquitos, protective of her.  I loved her eyes, their depth drew me in. What in the world had she seen with those beautiful eyes.
    I noticed she seemed under the weather and had some sort of new wound or injury.  I treated her with some antibiotics as she was so fearful, so afraid, I couldn't manage to get her to let me help her out further.  At first it was working.  I couldn't wait to see her each morning.  This past Friday I worked on trying to get her further medical assistance, but fell and injured my shoulder.  It's okay. I told myself.  I can help her on Monday.  Saturday morning I went to visit and she didn't come to meet me.  I missed my chance to save her.  I found her, breathing funny, not letting me near her.  On Sunday I went back and almost had her, but she ran off.  Yesterday I went to check for her and she was gone, my heart tells me gone for good.  I don't want to believe it.  I want to go back tomorrow and see her brightness, the joy in her eyes when she sees me coming.  I want a do over, to be able to help her successfully, and wonder why my wholehearted attempts have failed me, and her. I love her and hope only she is at peace, wherever she may be.

I stare at the notebook.  Inside it is white, empty, and full of nothingness, a vast expanse proudly absent of embellishments.  It seems to revel in its state which gives no hint of past, present, or future. It is profoundly neutral, non alarming, no signs of ever giving up or even starting anything for that matter.  It is deliciously blank, it is tempting to me, inviting me to mar its pages.

The Light envelops me, slowly sinking into each and every inch of my sacred body.  It flourishes inside me. Casting shadows and corners of darkness over by the wayside.  It is sweet. Gentle. All knowing, leaving me at last to sleep peacefully through the night.  The light burns quietly within me, and awaiting a bright new start, waiting patiently for another tomorrow.