Vent

I am looking for clarity in my life.  I know, who isn't. I spend way too much time wondering if I am supposed to be doing what I am doing and if so, why is it so hard to keep doing it and survive.  Where the fuck are the instruction books when you are born into this world because all I know if there is reincarnation I am surely coming back as I am positive I have many lessons to learn.   I want to move on when I am done with this life with whatever is next even if it is a whole lot of nothing.  I hope and believe there is something after but please don't send me back to this god forsaken earth when my time is up because I am sick of the imperfections of humanity, the cruelty. Myself included. End vent