Forest

The light was blinding, painful even as it pierced my eyes.  When I left it was daylight, and I traveled on foot through the mountain with nothing but water, a tent, some rations  matches and the clothes on my back.  It was hard to keep footing on the rocky terrain, so I decided to set up camp and build a small fire to keep warm as day settled into dusk. The primal sounds of the forest both frightened and enticed me as day turned into night. When I awoke,  I had gone a bit off course and was not precisely aware of my location.  The direction of the morning sun's ray's threw me off even further.  I just knew I needed to forge ahead, quickly before I was found.  What awaited me outside this forest put me in much graver danger than what lied within.

Disappear

You pass through me, as if I do not even exist
I scream to you please don't go, don't leave me all alone,
My plea is met with silence.  How can a person be so deaf not to know I need them, I love them, I want to be validated in some way, shape or form in their life.  Are we now that distant that I am almost ghostlike, invisible before your eyes?  I catch my reflection in the window and realize I do exist,  though I see my image fading by the minute.  I must claim myself and look inward to find my soul, and validate my own reason for being, before I disappear.

Vacant

You look at me, eyes vacant, and I wonder if  if you are really with me.  What happened was not our fault,  yet you cannot forgive yourself for not saving him in time, nor stop placing the blame on me as well. The thoughts and memories of that day play continuously through my mind.  The cold damp wind, I can still feel it on my face as we approached the door that night.  She had reached his house before we did. What if we got there sooner, could she have been stopped?  The torture he endured at her hands left a lasting mark.  I shall not soon forget the bloody runny handprints on the wall, the signs of begging for her mercy. What makes a person turn that way , take the life of another for their own gratification? We will never know nor be able to turn back the clock for we failed to step in. To reach the door in time

Satellite

As the thunder crashed through our area last night, my youngest one lied next to me.  The rain pounded furiously upon our house, sounding .determined to make its way in.  As I watched the lightning flash and streak across the sky lighting up our room she awoke, screaming about of all things, the possibility of our satellite going out, and desperately needing me to put in a dvd just in case it did.  Her fear of thunderstorms is certainly not unusual, many children of course feel the same but the fear of something not being as it should be in her life is greater still.  She expects life to run its course in the same predictable manner and fortunately, or unfortunately, depending how life is going for you this is not usually the case.  How do I help her adapt to the unknown, to appreciate going off course at times without derailing her sense of safety in sameness.  She knows she is different, which doesn't mean good or bad but she often wonders and worries that she doesn't fit in. I pray she sees the beauty of not being like others and will realize one day it doesn't matter if you have 1 friend or 200, she is worthwhile and working through her struggles makes her stronger than anyone I know.

Vent

I am looking for clarity in my life.  I know, who isn't. I spend way too much time wondering if I am supposed to be doing what I am doing and if so, why is it so hard to keep doing it and survive.  Where the fuck are the instruction books when you are born into this world because all I know if there is reincarnation I am surely coming back as I am positive I have many lessons to learn.   I want to move on when I am done with this life with whatever is next even if it is a whole lot of nothing.  I hope and believe there is something after but please don't send me back to this god forsaken earth when my time is up because I am sick of the imperfections of humanity, the cruelty. Myself included. End vent

Sunken

You sink under, I can reach you, you are at arms length, but I choose to let you go.  You sink under, but resurface, gaining confidence and becoming stronger in each passing moment.  I am in awe of you, your independence, your determination and strength in this precious life of yours, your ability to not only survive but surpass where you had been.  I wish and pray that I can take possession of that strength, to revive, reinvent, myself before my moment is gone.  I sink under, you are at arms length, and choose to let me go.  I cannot breathe and succumb to the depth of the water.  I sunk under, and you chose to let me go.

The Well

It lies deep beneath the cold stone well.  Buried beneath rock and soil, the weight of the stone pressing deep into its body, rendering it helpless, unable to move.  There is where it's dreams lie dormant, it's heart unexposed, it's reason for being suppressed in the cold dark ground.  It waits patiently, quietly, knowing the earth shall move and settle subtly , and with time, it is determined to make its way through the loose gravel ever so slowly and claim it's cherished fate.